28.5.09

Blockbusted

Someone wanted to know what I thought of T-Salv. Instead of going into an intricately woven review of all my thoughts, I think I'll just give you the short and skinny.
  1. Christian Bale makes John Connor into the most unlikeable character. Boring, uninspired, haggard and completely unheroic (plus he can't help but continually slip in "I'm Batman" voice). But to offset this less than pleasing rendition of Connor, McG made him barely a lead character. All focus is on Humanator, Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) and his performance was not that bad.
  2. Also, the whole, "I'm John Connor, and I have a plan... but I'm not going to tell you what it is or give you sufficient reason to do what I say" thing really didn't fly with me.
  3. Despite the film's focus on heart, and what it means to have one, the film has... none. The connection to the rest of the franchise is practically non-existent.
  4. Worthington had serious difficulty trying to cover his hefty Australian accent
  5. Moon Bloodgood's casting had to have taken a queue from The Sarah Connor Chronicles... She is literally a morphed version of Summer Glau and Stephanie Jacobson.
  6. Anton Yelchin was pretty decent (plus he does look a lot like the original Kyle), but why his little girl counterpart was necessary, I have no idea.
  7. The Plot was so miniscule, it should have made up one good action scene instead of basing the whole film on it. The whole thing feels like half a movie, if that.
  8. Bryce Dallas Howard has 2 lines in the film. Seriously, why even bother casting a Kate.
  9. Oh Right, they cast her to show that even through all that time travel, Connor's swimmers still work.
  10. Arnold's CGI cameo was actually slightly impressive.
  11. On the other hand, Arnold's cameo scene is a replica of the climax in the original Terminator. Lazy.
  12. Rapper Common's in the film. I would elaborate, but he doesn't do jack
  13. Helena Bonham Carter? WHAT? Go back to Tim Burton sweetie, you don't belong here.
  14. That cliff scene where Connor tests out "the signal" was all too reminiscent of Frodo and Samwise chilling in Mordor (sp?).
  15. The most predictable and infuriating ending in the world.
  16. The biggest issue for me is that they gave away the whole "surprise" of Marcus being part human and part terminator away in the trailer, and that's their big twist! If you've seen the trailer, then the the film is just an unnecessary $10.75.
Lasting impressions: The whole thing was a McStake.

Thank god for small favors. Yelchin made things tolerable (go Star Trek!)

5 comments:

Reel Whore said...

Thanks for the link!

#5. I was totally getting that Cameron-Glau vibe off her, too. Didn't think about Jacobson, but you're dead on that description.

#13. "Go back to Tim Burton sweetie, you don't belong here." - priceless.

Shannon the Movie Moxie said...

Now that was a good laugh!
1. "Humanator" Love it!
8. So right - no idea why they had her character at all!

I've love to add a 17 - how are all these folks so beefy big? I don't think the resistance (proper) ever ate anything!

do you have a flag? said...

Shannon, I agree, they were all pretty big, with the exception of Bale. He looked more Machinist than Batman.

Actionman said...

A terrible, terrible, terrible movie. All involved with this disasterpiece should give back their hefty paychecks.

Karen said...

I agree! What a letdown.